Communicating with Your Children

by Carrie Raab on May 2, 2012

Shepherding A Child’s Heart- Communicating with Your Children

Shepherding A Child's Heart

This is a weekly online book club, thanks to Amanda Pelser. If you are just now reading this email, we read 2 chapters a week and discuss them on our blogs and we have a Facebook group for discussion, support, and prayer. Please stop by Amanda’s blog and read everyone’s posts! You will be encouraged!

This week we are reading and sharing Chapter 8 and 9. I enjoyed these two chapters because it deals with communication. In today’s world, I feel we lack this skill and it seems to be getting worse due to technology.  Our hands do the talking and not our mouths. (yes, I am not immune to this communication disease! I am very aware that I have it) Our children are growing up with their phone as their mouth piece and yes, we adults are doing the same (ouch!). This is a reason why my 14 year old still does not have a cell phone, nor a Facebook. I do not want him learning to communicate primarily through a screen. He needs to learn how to communicate face to face. We all know how emails and texts get misinterpreted sometimes.  My children need to learn life skills. They need to learn how to talk to adults face to face, talk to their peers face to face prior to being sucked into the technological world and missing out on basic principles.

Methods of Communication

Communicating, as we know, is a dialogue not a monologue.  We as parents must talk and train our children, but we must also be willing to listen! When we are able to listen to our children, we are able to “hear” what is going on in their hearts. For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. There are times when our children do not need to speak, they just need to be obedient and honor and respect us, the parents and our authority.  As we listen to the voice of God and His authority, our children need to listen to our voice and be obedient to our authority.  It is a balance. Let’s look at the ways of communicating and how we can balance training the heart of the child, all the while dealing with outward behavior and consequences thereof.

Types of Communication

Ted Tripp points out in his book several methods of communicating. 

1. Encouragement

2. Correction

3.  Rebuke

4. Entreaty

5. Instruction

6. Warning

7. Teaching

8. Prayer

With all of these methods, getting to the heart of the matter, is what it all boils down to.  When we are listening to our children, we need to encourage and inspire them.  We need to speak words of life over them.  We need to bless them! When we are correcting our children, we need to do it in love. Did you get that? We correct in LOVE, not in anger. “A gentle answer turns away wrath.” Haven’t we all parented in anger? It does not benefit anyone! While we are training our children, God is continuously training us.

God’s word tells us, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” Did you notice the words in Scripture? These are the methods used in communicating that Tedd Tripp points out in his book.  We see the word teaching, rebuking, correcting and training. Very true! When we parent our children, we want to parent them according to God’s word. All of these forms of communicating are done in love and woven in grace. When we discipline our children, we do it because we love them, just as Daddy God does to us! Sometimes our parenting comes in warning or rebuke and it is our love that provokes us to do so. We will warn our children the stove is hot and not to touch it or they will get burned. We warn our children of the dangers of smoking and drugs. We instruct our children in the ways of righteousness. We correct our children to get to the heart and not just the outward behavior.  

communicating with your children

The best number of them all though is the last one, prayer.  All of the other numbers deal with our role in parenting our children. The last one, prayer, connects our children to God. Our children need to grow up knowing our God loves to communicate with his children! He is a God of dialogue and not monologue. Teach your children to talk to God and to listen to His voice. Teach your children to pray, praise and worship the King.  Model prayer to your children. Show them that Jesus is the way, the truth and the life! He is the source! He has all the answers! He is our teacher! He is our guide! This is priority.

Our children will not always have us, the parents, to run to, BUT they will always have God! We need to teach our children to rely on God and to trust God, no matter what. We need to train our children to hear HIS voice and obey Him! One day our children will be grown and no longer living under “our” wings-they will leave our nest and be under “His” wings! During our training, we need to train our children to seek HIM first and live sold out lives for the King! To live under God’s authority and to pray and have that relationship deeply rooted and grounded in God. Teach your children to pray-God is always speaking, but do we have ears to hear him? We can train our children to hear God speak and to communicate with our creator, the lover of our soul!

What methods of communicating do you tend to use the most in parenting? Do you see the ability to do them all? Do you see the tapestry of grace and love woven in all of these methods of communication? Please share with me your thoughts. I love your feedback. :)

Shared with The Kennedy Adventures, Teaching What is Good

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

M June 1, 2012 at 11:26 am

Communication is key. Starting young is even better! I am working on this with my kiddos. Thank you for sharing! Stoppin by via the link up :)


Carrie Raab June 1, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Thank you for reading it and your comment. Communicating is always key, isn’t it?! Great job for starting early! That is wonderful. Bless you and your family.


Hayley - June 1, 2012 at 2:21 am

Wow – such a great reminder to spend some time looking at all the different methods and intentionally working on having more wholistic communication styles..
I tend to go backwards and forward from encouragement to rebuking/correction I think, like a swinging pendulum!


Carrie Raab June 1, 2012 at 11:59 am

Hey Hayley! Thanks for stopping by! Yes, as parents, I do think we swing from one to the next. We needs all methods of communicating to our kids. Keep love in the center of all points and all is well. Bless you and your family! Stand firm :)


Kate @ Teaching What Is Good May 29, 2012 at 8:00 pm

I have never read this book but completely agree that good communication with our children is absolutely VITAL! Thanks for sharing this great post today!


Carrie Raab May 30, 2012 at 2:35 am

Hey Kate! Thanks for hosting and for stopping by to read it! Blessings to you!


Dianna Kennedy May 15, 2012 at 6:31 am

I was blessed to meet Amanda recently at the 2:1 Conference — she is a sweetheart! I’m going to be working through one of her book studies this summer! I’m going to add Sheparding a Child’s Heart to my list to read!

Thanks so much for stopping by and linking up to Saints and Scripture Sunday!


Carrie Raab May 15, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Hey Dianna! That is awesome you got to meet each other! What a blessing! Thanks for your blog and allowing us to share hearts! Blessings to you :)


kelli- AdventurezInChildREaring May 10, 2012 at 8:46 pm

I am learning a lot from this book – and even things that I really already know are coming up to remind me and help me do a better job – love love the cute pic of you and the boys! handsome guys 😉


Carrie Raab May 10, 2012 at 11:17 pm

Glad you like it! Love and blessings my friend!!! :)


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