Raising Teenagers

by Carrie Raab on June 4, 2012

Raising Teenagers

For many parents raising teenagers seems to be an overwhelming task and one full of frustration and defeat. This should not be the case! Sure, you can feel like that, “at the time”, “in the heat of the moment”, but not as an overall picture, which many do. Your children, your teens, NEED you! They are still under your covering and need your love, guidance, prayers, protection and support. They are still “in training.” They still have much to learn from you, as their parents.

raising teenagers My teenager!

What Teenagers Need

“Teens feel vulnerable about everything. They worry about their appearance. They feel insecure about their bodies and their personalities,” says Tedd Tripp. Since we know this to be true, we, as parents must pour into them the love of Christ and what He says and speaks over them. Our children need to gain their identity in Christ. They need to feel secure about how God created and fashioned them. He gave them an amazing personality and they are unique and special. This needs to be rooted and grounded into their hearts and minds. Their future depends on their identity and who they are in Christ. Once they know this, they will not worry (as much) about their “outward” appearance or personality. They will learn to cast all their cares on the the Lord and know that He loves and cares for them, and has a plan and a purpose for them.  They will learn to hear His voice and worship and obey the one that matters. They will become God pleasers and NOT man pleasers! This is a HUGE task for us a parents to instill into our children: to FEAR GOD and NOT MAN! When they are tempted by the things of this world, they will be rooted and grounded in the love of Christ and will turn to Him for help in time of need.

This, we must believe and contend for with our teens. I have heard several parents say, “the teenage years are the rebellious years.” Well, I am NOT coming into agreement with this. I have said that from the time I found out I was pregnant. I will not have rebellious children! Some might say that this is silly or how can I know. Well, I do know that my words and thoughts are powerful and carry weight! I do know God’s word says, “as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” I do know that “life and death is in the power of the tongue.” I do know that we can speak blessing or curses over our children. I choose to believe God and His will for my kids- He came to give them a hope and a future, to prosper them and not to harm them. Jesus came to give us life and life in abundance. The enemy is out to kill, steal, and destroy. This is why I can say the words that I say and believe them too! Faith is the things “hoped for, not yet seen.” I have BIG hopes for my children!

So, I do not believe teenagers have to rebel. I pray against this daily for my children and I pray you will do the same. I believe we can train and teach our children the ways of God and when they are old, they will not depart from it. I believe through our love for the Lord, we can instill that love into our children to love the Lord with all of their heart, mind, soul and strength. Our teens are the next generation and we need them to be the forerunners for Christ. They need to be salt and light in this dark world. We need to pour love, honor, acceptance and blessing into our teens. Pull out the “gold” in our children- God’s gifting and callings on their life. Prophesy over your children and have other mighty men and women speak God’s heart over them. May the Lord grant us His eyes as we raise and train them.

When raising teenagers, cry out to the Lord for His wisdom and grace daily! This is a paramount time in your child’s life.They need to have a listening ear. Our teens need to know that “mom and dad are a safe place- a safe haven for them to communicate and be with.” Teens need to be able to communicate openly with their parents and vise versa.  We want our children to know we understand their struggles- we were once teens- we understand peer pressure, insecurity, fear of man,etc. We also want them to know that we do not want them falling into the trap of sin and the snares of the enemy, but to be Kingdom minded, Kingdom Kids, set apart and on fire for the living God. We must experience life together with our teens. Share your stories together, pray together, and live life together. This does NOT take your parental authority out of the equation,you are still the parent and they are the child, but it will bring you into a close relationship that will unite your hearts together- “a 3 stranded cord is not easily broken.” Let your teenager know they are loved unconditionally and that nothing will or can ever separate them from the love of Christ. Teach your children “to not only be hearers, but doers of the word of God.”

raising teenagers Taking my son out on a mother-son date- Sushi!

May your teenager

May your teen be experiencing the love of Christ and know that God is “alive and active” in their life. May they experience the fullness and richness of Christ. May they walk in the power of the Holy Spirit and learn to walk in His ways and not their own. May your teen be in communion with like minded peers- “as iron sharpens iron, so a person sharpens another.”

May they be falling in love with their King and living for His glory. May they know that Christ is their plumb line-their joy, strength, hope, faith, and trust. May they know the power of the resurrected Christ and Him crucified and that He lives inside of them. May they know they are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus. May they walk in power and authority on the earth being filled to overflowing with the Holy Spirit. May they love the Lord and make Him known to the ends of the earth. May they preach the Gospel to themselves daily as well as to others.

May they hunger and thirst for His righteousness. May they know who they are in Christ and see themselves and love themselves as Christ does.  May they freely give His love away to the world. May they do great exploits in the name of the Lord. May everything they do give Him glory, honor and praise!

“Teens feel vulnerable about everything. They worry about their appearance. They feel insecure about their bodies and their personalities,” says Tedd Tripp. Since we know this to be true, we, as parents must pour into them the love of Christ and what He says and speaks over them. Our children need to gain their identity in Christ.

Do you have a teenager? Are you struggling raising your teen? How can I pray for you? I believe in you and am here for you! I welcome your prayer requests and feedback.  Bless you parents! :)

Shared with Teaching What is Good; Ultimate Homeschool

{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

Janet Velte March 27, 2014 at 2:24 pm

You are a beautiful sister/mom in Christ. I looked up raising teen in Christ as “I” struggle to Do so. I believe there is a stronghold of fear in me as I fear my son’s disapproval w my teaching him to choose God. Pray for me, my husband Tom & 15 (almost) yr old Michael. That God will lift this fear, make himself known & desired in my home & in our hearts. Thank you soo much!
How may I pray for you sister ? Janet

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Carrie Raab March 31, 2014 at 5:33 pm

Thanks! Blessings to you and being a mom! Wonderful to meet another sister. :) God is for you and with you and in you!!!

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Jc January 15, 2013 at 12:26 am

please pray for our family and teach me how to be a better help for my son. he is extemely brightbut so cocky and head strong angry about everything. how do you deal with bad moods and temper and cocky back talk. I am at my wits end. please give me insite

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Carrie Raab January 29, 2013 at 2:59 am

Praying for peace that surpasses all understanding, JC. Continue to lean on the Lord for strength, patience, grace and wisdom and not your own. Invite the Holy Spirit, the comforter, to be a part of your daily life/routine. Continue to seek HIS face and fight the good fight of faith. Do not give up! Blessings and prayers!

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Michy loving our journey July 5, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Hi! I am so happy you came by and linked up for Faithfully Parenting! We’ll be open again tomorrow for another linky party….I appreciate you jumping in to help get this one going!
I love this post and how it can relate to really any age..I have a toddler (will be 2 next month)…and it’s that same concept of ‘”terrible two”…well, they won’t be terrible….I’m not setting him up for that!
Your teen looks so comfortable and content with you!!
I was wondering if you would be interested in doing a guest post for a Faithfully Parenting Friday (like the intro story/tip/anecdoate) I usually write? I think the mother of teen perspective would be a great addition for my viewers…if you are interested, you can let me know on fb/or there is a contact me button for my e-mail on my site!! I’m looking for something short and sweet as there are so many links for people to read below.
Blessings!
Michy
https://www.facebook.com/LovingOurJourney

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Carrie Raab July 10, 2012 at 2:15 am

Hey Michy! Awesome! Thank you so much. Love your words and thoughts… I so agree! I have sent you an email regarding a post. I have liked your facebook as well. Can’t wait to talk to you! Blessings! :)

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Alicia@the Overflow! July 2, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Love your encouragement here. I’ve got five kids 3-13 and am learning that the teens years are just as demanding as the toddler years, but oh, so much fun. I love how God can capture their hearts and shape our teens into mighty men/women of faith. Thanks for spurring me on in prayer and praise today. Stopping by from the Better Mom.

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Carrie Raab July 2, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Hey Alicia! Wow, thank you so much! I appreciate your kind words and feedback! Blessed to know this post was a blessing to someone. Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to comment. Love and blessings to you and your precious family. :)

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Piper June 13, 2012 at 3:36 pm

As a mother of 4 children, 26(girl), 19(girl), 15(boy), 7(boy) I have experienced teenagers ups & downs. My oldest had some rebellious tendencies, but we always stood our ground, not wavering in our rules or expectations. Our other daughter has a heart for the Lord and times are rare that we ever have to redirect her. The thought of disappointing her family or the Lord keeps her focused. Now our 15 yr old…whew! There are days he wears me OUT!! He has always had a mind of his own, but we stick our guns and pray pray!! And God does work in him…and it warms my heart to see him growing into a Godly young man in a world that tries to turn our boys heads! The 7yr old thinks he is 13 so we pull the reins on him frequently and he too is prayed over for what is to come! Love this post. Hopped from WLWW!

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Carrie Raab June 14, 2012 at 2:49 am

Hey Piper! Thank you so much for sharing your testimony of God’s goodness and faithfulness and for us parents to never give up and to stand our ground and be firm in our faith. It is hard and we do grow weary, at times, but we know what God’s word says and we must focus on His promises and not our circumstances. He sees the big picture and it is hard for us to, when we are in the minute by minute routine. I love your heart and bless you and your precious family. Your youngest two will be mighty men of God and you will see the fruit of your labor! Thanks for stopping by and for taking the time to share with us your story. Blessings!

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Kate @ Teaching What Is Good June 12, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Oh I so agree with you! 7 of our 8 children are either passed or in the teen years. I HAVE LOVED THIS TIME SO MUCH!! We’ve had the hormonal volatile moments, but they are just the emotional explosions that fade immediately. But we’ve never had the rebellion that so many others see, and I do not accept it as the “norm”. We have developed wonderful relationships with our teens, that have lasted and deepened as they grow into adulthood.

Wonderful post! Thanks for linking it up.

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Carrie Raab June 14, 2012 at 2:50 am

Hey Kate! Thanks for being in agreement and praying for your teens and believing and trusting God! Bless you!

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Mary June 10, 2012 at 12:32 am

Hi Carrie!
How you have blessed me with all that you stated! I am a very proud mom of two
wonderful kids…my son, Landon who is 15 soon to be 16 in Sept. and a beautiful daughter, Abby who is 13 soon to be 14 in Sept. as well. Ever since they were born, my heart’s prayer for them was that the Lord would bless them with gifts and talents that they would be used to glorify our precious Jesus Christ! My husband and I have never given up on praying for them…and just in the past few months….our prayers are being answered! My husband and I have been worship leaders in our church for the past 20 years…..being in the presence of the Lord in worship bypasses everything that this world has to offer! Landon had come to me last Jan. wanted to learn how to play the guitar. I showed him the basic chords….and I kid you not, within three days….he had learned how to play and sing the worship song that I showed him how to play! He at the same time started taking drum lessons and taught himself how to play the bass guitar. We just kept encouraging him all the way. Since then, without ever taking any lessons from anyone, he went from playing in his room, to playing on the worship band at his school, to leading worship on Sundays and at his youth group as well! The Lord has also given him about 5 songs that he has composed as well. My Abby is more like me….on the quiet side of the social circle. My husband and I noticed that her strengths were playing the flute and keyboard and doing interpretive dancing in worship. She has
just astounded us with her beautiful graceful abilities. As parents, we listened one day as Landon was playing his guitar and singing while Abby was accompanying him on the keyboard. I only stood in the kitchen with tears streaming down my face as the anointing of the Lord was evident in their lives. So my prayer of 16 years ago has so been answered by our amazing Lord! We now have experienced a handful of times leading worship services as a family! My husband sings and plays keyboard, Abby plays keyboard and flute, Landon sings and plays guitar and I’m right there in the middle singing harmony! All that to say…..I ditto you on what you said about never giving up praying for your children….they do need us! And how faithful the Lord is in answering our heart’s deepest desires!
Thanks for the encouragement, Carrie!
Mary

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Carrie Raab June 14, 2012 at 2:54 am

Hey Mary! Oh, wow, what a beautiful life story of you and your family. There is nothing like worshiping the Lord together, as you have described! Heaven on earth :) That is so beautiful how the Lord taught your son how to play. I have heard of that happening before. All glory to Him alone! I know God is well pleased with you and your obedience to Him. Your labor is not in vain and you are seeing the fruit of your labor. Bless you Mary and I thank you for sharing your heart with us. What a pictures of Christ’s love to behold. Bless you mighty woman!

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Eileen @ Ordained Praise June 9, 2012 at 12:11 pm

What a beautiful testimony! Can you pray for my 15 year old daughter who just started a great part time volunteer job that is in line with her future chosen major in college. She needs to build up her confidence about performing effectively at this job. I am trying to do that with her at home by instilling a proper perspective for her responsibilities with basic common sense and courtesy. She has to become more confident and independent at her job though. It is always hard in the beginning and she has a lot of butterflies in her stomach. This is all new to her and she needs prayers. Thank you so much!

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Carrie Raab June 14, 2012 at 2:55 am

Hey Eileen! Yes, I would be honored to keep your daughter in prayer. Confidence and knowing who she is in Christ is pinnacle. Keep me posted on her job and how she is doing. Blessings! :)

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Michelle June 7, 2012 at 2:22 am

I have always agreed with you, but just now met you, lol!

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Carrie Raab June 7, 2012 at 2:45 am

Nice to meet you to Michelle! Glad we both agree :)

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kelli- AdventurezInChildREaring June 5, 2012 at 4:10 pm

I had someone tell me the other day “just wait til they are teenagers” and I said “I enjoy ever stage – most days” :) Great article – sharing it all around!

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Carrie Raab June 5, 2012 at 6:43 pm

That’s right! Not on my watch! :) hugs!

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