Shepherding a Child’s Heart Ch. 4 and 5

by Carrie Raab on April 16, 2012

 

Shepherding A Child's Heart Tedd Tripp

Shepherding a Child’s Heart includes Parental Authority

We are plugging right along in this book, reading 2 chapters a week. Please stop over at Amanda Pelser’s site to read everyone’s posts. The chapters this week focus on “parental authority.”  We need to have a “biblical understanding of authority in the home.”

A discussion that my 13 yo and I have been having lately is ‘being in the world, but not of it’  -peer pressures and the phrase keeping up with the Jones’. It seems as though he is the only child his age that doesn’t have a cell phone, doesn’t have a Facebook, doesn’t have a girlfriend (we are NOT encouraging one at this age!), isn’t going to see Hunter Games and some of the other movies teenagers go see,and many more topics.  Are my husband and I raising our  child too strict? Are we “religious” or “legalistic”? Some might say yes, but I say no! I am a woman after God’s own heart and I live to please and glorify my King and not succumb to the pressures of the world. My teen needs to fall in love with Jesus, my teen needs to know who he is “in Christ.” My teen needs to know what it is to walk humbly before His King. My teen needs to learn to walk in integrity and be a man of character and represent- “RE- PRESENT” Jesus to others. My teen doesn’t need all of these “material things,” my teen needs to know the unfailing LOVE that Abba Father has for him. My teen simply needs Jesus.

I know that our family has been called by God, anointed by the Holy Spirit to be ‘set apart.’  We can not as christian parents fall into the traps of justification, and fear of man. We must stand our ground and biblically train our children in the “way that they should go.” I truly believe God’s word! His word does NOT return void! Regardless if your children are wayward, they will come back and return to the Father! Meditate on the prodigal son. They will come back!

We, as parents, have been given authority over our children.

They are under our covering, as we are under the covering of God Almighty. As we listen to God, and obey Him, our children are to listen to us and obey us. By obeying us (the parents), they are ultimately obeying God. When they disobey us, they disobey God. While our children are at home, under our covering, we are training them to “listen to the voice of God” and to “obey His word”, because one day, they will not be under our authority any longer.  The only voice they will be obedient to is the voice of the Father. They will choose to either obey or disobey the Lord.

shepherding a child's heart - parental authority

During this time of shepherding our children, we must be consistent in our parenting, otherwise their will be no ground rules and your children will likely rebel.  Without consistency, our children never know when our yes is a yes and our no is a no.  God’s word says, “let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” (Matt. 5:37)  Wow… pretty strong statement! We are to draw our children to Christ, not to ourselves, and teach them wisdom, honor, and respect, both to God and adults.

God requires obedience. Likewise, we as parents do too. God’s word says, “the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.”  We train and discipline our children because we love them. We must, however, not become legalistic in our parenting! We must be led by the Holy Spirit and focus on graced-based parenting, not “the law.”  We can forget about the heart and focus on obedience- the do’s and don’ts, right/wrong behavior if we get the authority/obedience part confused.  I have parented both sides of the coin and legalism never wins.  With grace comes humility, and with humility comes repentance, and with repentance comes a heart change.  I have gone to my children numerous times on one knee and asked them to forgive me for whatever I had done to sin against them and God. (read here.)

Growing in grace and love is what is needed in parenting.  We need to discipline in love and not anger, bitterness, frustration, and the list goes on and on. We have all parented that way. But…today is a NEW day!  Start afresh!  Instead of yelling at your kids and punishing them, correct and rebuke them in love. God tells us, “a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”  This is such a profound verse! It works!!! Try it! Teach this verse to your children too… they also need to learn to “speak in love” to their siblings, parents, friends, teachers,…

Parental authority is Godly authority

We are called by God to parent our children. I am excited to be on this journey with you. Please join me in praying for our children and believing for them to do “great exploits for our King.” 

Share with me your thoughts on parenting and parental authority. I want to hear from you! Bless you and your family.   Links

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

kelli- AdventurezInChildREaring April 18, 2012 at 8:55 pm

we are anointed – set apart – HIS- love it!

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Kim S April 18, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Wow….that so speaks to me and my concerns with raising and parenting my girls. Thanks for sharing!

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Carrie Raab April 18, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Hey Kim! Wow… thanks for your kind words. Blessings to you and your family. Stay strong and firm in your faith-let nothing shake you! :)

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Michelle Eichner April 18, 2012 at 12:12 am

Carrie, I can assure you your 13yo isn’t the only one! There’s another almost 13yo (he can’t WAIT ’til Friday :-) who also doesn’t have facebook, twitter, instagram, a phone, etc. God knew I needed to hear this today as I’ve been feeling a little like an island lately – even among wonderful people at church. Don’t know where you are in the USA, but tonight I don’t feel as alone as I did before I read your words. Thank you so much. You were a blessing to me.
Michelle – in FL

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Carrie Raab April 18, 2012 at 12:57 am

Hey Michelle! Thank YOU for your words and blessing me! God meant to put us together–iron sharpens iron! LOL, I live in FL too! How “God” is that?! We aren’t that far after all! Blessings to you and hope to chat more in the future. Thanks for visiting my blog and your kind remarks! :)

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Carrie Raab April 18, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Hey Michelle! Wow, thank YOU for your words too! God is good and gives us both encouragement that we are not alone! Iron sharpens iron! I totally understand everything you are saying! I am learning to gain all of my wisdom, counsel and direction from the Lord. I must always follow HIS voice! Despite what other people tell me and their “good” advise, it still might not be what the Lord wants me to do. This is my desire…to please Him in every way! Follow God and not man. I am pleased to have “met” you. I am laughing at where do you live??? LOL- I am in FL too! God is good! Blessings to you and I pray this is just the beginning of a Godly friendship. Happy early birthday! :)

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Denise April 17, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Awesome.

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Carrie Raab April 17, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Blessings to you, Denise. Thanks for stopping by!

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kelli- AdventurezInChildREaring April 17, 2012 at 2:12 pm

I agree- whole heartedly – but it’s Hunger Games :) – I listened to the audio book series to check it out & decided to share it with Parker – (this is before it was a movie) the premise is that their freedoms had been taken away and there is big government control & some other human nature control type stuff- there was no bad language or anything (in the audio books) and it was a great way to open up discussion – I’d stop the audio and talk about what was happening and why – sometimes compare it to current events and freedoms being taken from us now. Can’t speak about the movie- haven’t seen it – but the book series has a good theme to it (even though it isn’t a Christian book) I have a book giveaway coming up that is a Christian book that would be excellent for him. It’s called “the Inheritance” – much like Pilgrim’s Progress with more modern language – easy to understand – biblically sound (the author is my former Pastor’s wife from many years ago) I am absolutely certain – you will approve – without doubt – God approves :) It’s also full of adventure & I’m reading it out loud to my boys – they can’t get enough. True shepherding means guiding your child through these things- like you say – protecting them from putting things into their mind that you know are not good for them – they are bombarded with enough of it anyway- disciplining in love – yes yes. Otherwise we are just expressing our feelings – and doing harm & not shepherding. The only way for me to pull it off is with a lot of prayer. A lot of prayer. Sometimes right out loud in the moment. “Lord, give me wisdom and strength to help this child” :) they know it’s pretty serious when mama starts praying out loud – lol – great article my friend –

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